THE BOOB SQUEEZER
Larry the Cable Guy: This here’s how I make the LUBE come outta your TUBE.
Short one-act play archives
THE EXISTENTIALLY CONCERNED KINDERGARTENER
Kindergartener: Oh, I cannot eat chicken nuggets today!
Short one-act play archives
THE NECKLACE-WEARING DATER
Woman: Dinner was great, thank you.
Man: Sure thing.
Woman: Where are we going now?
Man: Actually, that’s my question for you. See, what I’d like is, I’d like to take this to [begin finger quotation marks] the next level [end finger quotation marks].
Short one-act play
THE ACCIDENTAL SATURDAY NIGHT
Man: Some luck. Here we are getting Plan B, and we didn’t even do it.
Short one-act play archives
THE POLITE FORNICATORS
Man: Do you mind if I place my hand..here?
Woman: No; please do!
Man: Would you like for me to grip it tighter?
Woman: Yes, please grip it tighter.
Man: May I now put this here?
Woman: You may!
Man (pre-recorded voice plays, as if internal dialogue): Wow, she’s never gonna let me touch her asshole.
Short one-act play archives
THE SARCASTIC MOTHER
Mother: Look at all the empty chairs we invited to your birthday party!
Child:
Short one-act play archives
I found these from my old journal and am going to begin reposting them because several are still pleasing.
THE UNINTENTIONALLY PATRONIZING WAITRESS
Waitress: Hey, sweetheart. Can I get you something to drink?
Customer: Water’s fine.
Waitress: All right, hon.
Short one-act play
THE RACIST DIRTY-TALKER
Man: Baby, will you grow your pubes into a cross so I can set it on fire?
Two short one-act plays
THE HOMESICK INTERNATIONAL STUDENT
Student: Mommy, it is impossible for me to eat supper without a harpist playing.
THE WHITE PERSON WHO MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT “COMMUNITY ORGANIZING” IS
Lady: I don’t think the library should have these books. I’m keeping them.
1 of 1
