This weekend I went to a friend’s brother’s wedding in Chicago. It turned out to be a richie rich affair with women in fur stolls. I didn’t know people owned fur in real life, and boy did I feel silly, not having worn socks.

Going to weddings makes me think about my own wedding, like sitting in class makes me think about how I would teach. Für eshample:

- I will write my own vows. Anyone can read lines out of a book—I could hire a stand-in for that. The vows will be hilarious and a living monument to my bride and will also make everybody cry.

- We don’t need a thousand photos and a wedding paparazzi corps getting in peoples’ faces.

- There needs to be a chance for people to object. A generous 15-second waiting period could inject some invigorating tension into the event.