BEN & JERRY’S PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE PRODUCT REVIEW Just as I was not one of those kids who’d come over to spend the night at your house and squeak out something annoying like, “Oh my gosh, I had two Cokes! All that sugar is going to keep me up for two days,” I don’t typically think something is “too much of a good thing.” Mixing pumpkin, cheesecake, and ice cream may be too many good things at once though. On the first bite, all I tasted was butter. I visualized canned pumpkin sliding into a bowl of butter. The mellowness of cream cheese scanned just as sugar. This is all unpleasant. Soon I hit the vein of crunchy graham cracker crust, and because I overvalue texture in my foods, the crust bits saved this ice cream from being totally gross (although I still felt stomach-heavy after eating a little). Of course nothing can compare to Ben & Jerry’s raspberry brownie shit, which is the best ice cream I’ve ever had. I always imagine the CEO of Breyer’s or Edy’s taking it home in a brown paper sack, eating it furtively in his home office, and wanting to kill himself right on the spot because he knows he could never, ever, not in 2,000 years, make an ice cream as good as that.

BEN & JERRY’S PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE PRODUCT REVIEW

Just as I was not one of those kids who’d come over to spend the night at your house and squeak out something annoying like, “Oh my gosh, I had two Cokes! All that sugar is going to keep me up for two days,” I don’t typically think something is “too much of a good thing.” Mixing pumpkin, cheesecake, and ice cream may be too many good things at once though.

On the first bite, all I tasted was butter. I visualized canned pumpkin sliding into a bowl of butter. The mellowness of cream cheese scanned just as sugar. This is all unpleasant.

Soon I hit the vein of crunchy graham cracker crust, and because I overvalue texture in my foods, the crust bits saved this ice cream from being totally gross (although I still felt stomach-heavy after eating a little).

Of course nothing can compare to Ben & Jerry’s raspberry brownie shit, which is the best ice cream I’ve ever had. I always imagine the CEO of Breyer’s or Edy’s taking it home in a brown paper sack, eating it furtively in his home office, and wanting to kill himself right on the spot because he knows he could never, ever, not in 2,000 years, make an ice cream as good as that.