December 2009
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Resolution for 2010
I don’t care about meeting famous people but would like to meet Lou Reed.
But then I thought, Why stop at meeting Lou Reed? I want to go to the movies with Lou Reed. I want to go on a bro date with Lou Reed. I will take him to see The Fantastic Mr. Fox then buy him ice cream. This is my resolution for 2010.
Cats, free will
Staying with a friend who owns a cat has led me to put my finger on one thing that makes cats creepy:
I stood in front of the cat holding my cell phone. When I moved my phone to the right, the cat’s eyes went to the right; when I moved my phone down to my knees, the cat’s eyes went down to my knees; when I moved my phone in a Z-pattern, the cat’s eyes moved in a Z-pattern. I...
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WatchTurner family tradition
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"Journey of the Magi"
People talk about “putting Christ back in Christmas,” but Eliot went a step further and put DEATH back in Christmas.
All this was a long time ago, I remember, And I would do it again, but set down This set down This: were we led all that way for Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly, We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death, But had thought they were different;...
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Haircut
My hair does not look good bushy but I let it get that way because I cannot stand to have it cut by anyone except Marie: for months I let it grow and fester in New Haven, just like the person it is attached to, until I visit Atlanta. I always forget to make an appointment and always have to ask for one at the last minute and always she makes room, which I realize now is part of the appeal. It...
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Religious revelation while reading Facebook...
When people say “I’m spiritual but not religious” or “I pray but by no means do I believe in organized religion,” aren’t they sort of saying, “I guess I can believe in the idea of God, but I have a real problem with people”? Organized religion just means: Here, these are people trying to do something about God. They don’t necessarily reflect on...
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Things you give to friends
I worry about friends who are not connected to anything larger than themselves. They float: between friends, between jobs, between cities, between callings—if they identify any at all.
There is little to say in the way of answers or solutions. A rule that generally makes sense to me is that some people have a lot so that they can give the excess to others, but I cannot give others my sense...
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WatchCommit 2.5 minutes of your time to Lou Grant. He will teach you how to approach strangers for a date.
Maybe you have never watched Lou Grant, the newspaper drama spun off from The Mary Tyler Moore Show, but it is thoroughly unlike anything on TV now: a shambolic character piece that occasionally gets around to introducing a mystery or scandal. The amount of silence in each episode feels...
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Music for working
Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Trio, The Creation of the Universe: This is not Metal Machine Music, which is loud. This is like the background music of a David Lynch movie, minus some of the goofiness that floats around. Occasionally there is a saxophone, to remind you that it is “music.” It provides just enough noise and disorder to force me to stay focused on the sentence I am...
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Short one-act play
THE EASIEST BREAK-UP
Man: Don’t you think I’m sort of like Jim? I am, I’m totally Jim. Woman: Yeah, you’re sort of Jim. You mean like you’re sweet and real cute and clever and all that stuff? Man: Exactly. Woman: Then I guess that makes me Pam! Man: Well, maybe not,
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Top 10 Best Songs of 2009
Did “Single Ladies” come out in 2008 or 2009? It doesn’t matter, it is the best song of the year. I want it played at my funeral and my wedding and when my kids are baptized and at the conclusion of my next job interview and when I buy a sandwich later tonight. I want to steal a fast car and drive through a desert with a beautiful Latin woman and play this song. I want the...
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Galaxie 500, “Tugboat”
I have said...
Scenarios for future nightmares (in progress)
- Make out with a Huffington Post blogger
- Open a Subway franchise in San Diego
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Photography as art
Miroslav Volf once said in class that substantive pieces should be read three times; lesser things can be read “like wood eats fire—it leaves only ashes.”
Maybe that metaphor explains why I have difficulty accepting photography as serious art. It is easy to enjoy, like ice cream, and like ice cream I can consume a bucketful in one sitting. I am not left with wood but ashes.
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This week I have been reblogged by Justine Bateman and BONER PARTY, so I guess I am dropping out of school to become a professional Tumblrer.
One calls me “amazing”; the other seems under the impression I was making fun of the mom on ‘Family Ties.’
Anyway, hello, new followers—I wish that I could see all of your shining angel faces. Also I apologize for not writing...
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Field trip
Florida is an unsettling place to me, but I would like to visit this hotel in Key West where Wallace Stevens frequently stayed. He punched Hemingway there. He picked fights with Robert Frost, who you have to figure was an annoying wuss, a real sweaterwearer. But more important is that Stevens wrote at this hotel in Key West, and there’s some peacefulness, some orderedness encoded in his...
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CDs
When high school friends would buy a CD and instantly throw away everything but the actual disc, I thought they were heretics. I thought they should be put in music jail. I thought they should be allowed to listen only to unserious music—compilations sold on commercials, soundtracks to TV shows, greatest-hits collections—which probably wouldn’t even phase them.
The migration...
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